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Product details
File Size: 2546 KB
Print Length: 264 pages
Publisher: Puddledancer Press; 3 edition (September 1, 2015)
Publication Date: September 1, 2015
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B014OISVU4
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#4,620 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This book has made all of my relationships more manageable. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family like I did, where communication usually happened in the form of guilt trips and passive aggression, this book can change your life. As soon as I started applying concepts like observing without judgment, communicating my needs and my feelings openly and honestly, asking for what would add joy to my life, and not taking ownership for other people's feelings or responses to me, I noticed a change in how people in my life responded to me and my requests. People began to seem more open to hearing me, and normal every day conflicts can be addressed without people getting escalated.
Are you a violent communicator?Though this book does not pose this question directly, it is a question that I’ve had to reflect on while reading this book. And I haven’t really liked what I’ve been forced to admit - that many of the ways we communicate in our everyday life take from the well-being of others.Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication has caused me to reflect deeply on how I use communication in my day to day life, and the ways in which we can either give life to others or take it away. Every time that we communicate with others, we can either build deeper understanding, connection, and compassion, or we can simply ignore them or worse, create further disconnection and less understanding.Marshall makes clear his ultimate goal, which is largely reflected in this book. “What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.†Practically, Marshall outlines the tenets of Nonviolent Communication, a system he developed as a counselor and spent his career teaching all over the world. At its core, Nonviolent Communication is about communicating honestly and receiving empathetically, a way of communicating that “leads us to give from the heart.†Underneath each aspect of nonviolent communication is four key components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. In his estimation, all frustration and anger is about unfulfilled need, and therefore our communication should be about getting to the core of those needs. Though it sounds simple, this is profoundly difficult; most of us are unaware of the needs we truly have, and communicating those needs is incredibly difficult, even in close relationships.While some of it can read as touchy-feely or robotic language, I’ve found this book to be both challenging and inspiring. On a practical level, I’ve found Rosenberg’s work to resonate deeply with me at a time where I feel few people are heard or really communicate fully and honestly what they think, both in public and in private. Secondly, as someone who studies Communication, I see significant overlap with Rosenberg’s suggestions with significant realms of Communication scholarship that suggests to me that this is much more than some counselor’s idealistic approach to being in the world. True, there has been no empirical research done on this, but I think there are still deep truths and practical tips that could help anyone and everyone communicate in ways that enrich the lives of others.In the end, I encourage you to read this book. For those that want 30,000 feet, skim through it and you’ll be better for its overarching ideas. For those that want in-depth tips, Rosenberg is clear and precise in showing you how to implement the language. And if you read this and don’t like it, leave a comment and tell me about it so we can dialogue more about it. I know for me, I’m better for reading this book, and I think I’ll show up for others better too.
Probably the most important book on communication and relationships I've ever read. If I would have found this sooner it could have saved my relationship. I initially read the kindle version and I re-bought this paperback version so I can physically read it again with notes and underlines!
FOLKS , I'M FROM NJ... VIOLENT COMMUNICATION IS THE NORM. WHEN I BEGAN STUDYING THIS BOOK, I WANTED TO THROW IT ACROSS THE ROOM. MY HEAD FELT LIKE IT WOULD EXPLODE ! WHAT A STRETCH... IT IS ONE OF THE MOST FREEING BOOKS I'VE EVER STUDIED. HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO INCREASE EMPATHY AND FREEDOM! IF YOUR FROM THE METROPOLITIAN AREA , WEAR SOME HEAD GEAR... YOU MAY NEED IT !
"Believing that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate manner, I have been preoccupied most of my life with two questions: What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances? ...While studying the factors that affect our ability to stay compassionate, I was struck by the crucial role of language and our use of words. I have since identified a specific approach to communicating--both speaking and listening--that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish. I call this approach Nonviolent Communication, using the term nonviolence as Gandhi used it--to refer to our natural state of compassion when violence has subsided from the heart." ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg from Nonviolent CommunicationBased on Gandhi's ideal of nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication (or NVC for short) is also known as "Compassionate Communication." I think it could also be appropriately described simply as "Effective Communication." As the cover of the book declares: "More than 1,000,000 copies sold for one simple reason: it works!"I've been planning to read this book for quite some time and, after seeing both Brené Brown and Kristin Neff rave about it, I decided now was the time. I was blown away by the goodness.I'm inspired by not only the theory and practices laid out in the book but by Marshall B. Rosenberg's lifetime commitment to mastering communication and helping us, as he would say, create a compassionate flow btwn ourselves and others based on mutual giving from the heart.Here are some Big Ideas from this book:1. NVC - What is it?2. The Four Components - Observations + Feelings + Needs + Requests.3. What Gets in the Way? - Life-alienating stuff.4. Taking Responsibility - Is key.5. What Do You Want? - Always a powerful questionTo find 250+ more reviews visit http://bit.ly/BrianReviews
NVC is great, but you can also watch some of his courses on Youtube. I'd even suggest that, as you can do that with your couple or a group of people and then discuss each step of the methodology. I think they should teach this in schools, it's so needed in our world. There's a risk of overdoing it, so please be aware of not NVC'ing the hell out of everyone and everything. But when applied cleanly and lovingly, this can change everything!
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